The Games We Play
by Deathofme
Summary: Post 'Butterflied'[GSR] Dr. Vincent Lurie plays games with Sara and Grissom ...COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **Won't make sense if you haven't seen "Butterflied" (the confession scene was _gold!_)

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**PROLOGUE:**

"You must be Sara Sidle."

Sara looked to her right to see that a tall, middle-aged man had seated himself beside her at the bar. In the dim lighting it took her a moment to realize who it was.

"Dr. Lurie."

"Please, call me Vincent."

"This is an odd place to meet you doctor."

She refused to call him by his first name.

Dr. Vincent Lurie had been the primary suspect in the murder case of one Debbie Marlins. The team had worked hard on that case, and it had nearly driven Grissom to a burn out. He had obsessed over the case and the team all wondered if a factor was the victim looked exactly like Sara, but they never spoke of it.

They had reached the conclusion that he had murdered his ex-lover because she had left him for a younger man. However, there wasn't enough evidence to convict him. He had a good lawyer who got him out of a sticky mess and he was still practicing medicine.

That had surprised Sara, that he still had the guts to go back to his day job. There had been a particularly haunting interrogation between him and Grissom, one where many things had been said that weren't said, in a way, and that she had seen all from the observation room. That was one incident that had haunted her ever since and confused and frustrated her even more.

Was Grissom truly relating to his personal feelings or was it a lure to draw the doctor into a confession? What did he truly think about Sara? Why couldn't he tell her? She hated him, hated him for always hiding, for never actually coming face to face with her about anything personal.

And she hated Vincent Lurie. He had killed a young woman, ready to get on with her life, to work, to live, to love, and he had taken it all away. And yet in a perverse way he reminded her of Grissom, and a small part of herself liked that through circumstance, the doctor had pulled what just might have been a genuine confession from Gil Grissom.

But only a small part.

"I was just at the bar, noticed you were here and decided to say hello."

"Really? You came over because you were feeling friendly? Because from what I can remember, the team and I made your life hell for a bit and almost put your career at stake, and you can feel friendly about that?"

"You were doing your jobs."

"How gracious of you to say doctor."

"Vincent. Let me buy you a drink."

As the night progressed, Sara was more than a little drunk. She was a tough girl and could hold her own, just because she was a little muddled didn't mean that she couldn't take care of herself, but she found herself warming up more towards the doctor.

She saw him as a broken person. The murder case, whether he had committed it or not, had truly hurt him. It had messed with him a little, and he was still a little neurotic and timid because of it. They had talked about all sorts of impartial subjects when it had slowly turned to their love lives. He was quite a bit drunk too, and his eyes went red.

"It's just…I haven't been able to get this off my chest to anybody before. It's been eating me up inside, I've wanted to tell someone but you must know how that would be like. It's too disturbing, I was a primary suspect, not even my sister would talk to me about Debbie."

He sighed and knocked back another shot glass.

"I loved her very much. But I knew, the whole time we were together, that it couldn't last. I always felt like a tag-along, as if she were doing me a favor by going out with me. I didn't really care at the time, I was grateful all the same, but there was always that tension…always that pressure to make sure I didn't tip her off into that direction.

"You see, I was living with rejection every minute I was with her."

He poured himself another shot glass, but swirled it in his hand.

"I was on cloud nine for awhile. We were friendly, everything seemed to be going well, it was so easy, the way we could interact with each other. Then, boom, the harshest rejection I've ever been on the receiving end of. You know, you try to let it go, you say, that's fine, that's how they feel and I can't do anything about it, but you always carry hope. Any friendly smile, any hello, you always see hope.

And it eats away at you."

Sara was quiet, nursing her own beer and after knocking back the shot glass he looked at her, trying to catch her gaze. She was staring off into space, pensive.

"You look like you know what I'm talking about."

Sara sighed and laughed a little self-consciously.

"I do."

She was about to lose herself in her own maudlin thoughts when she noticed he was still looking at her and felt like her story was due.

"It's nothing, it's stupid. I've just been in love with the one guy for awhile now. There are times when I'm sure he feels the same way, and other times I'm convinced of the exact opposite. It's not even a love-hate relationship, he just kind of shies away and hides and makes sure everything's so ambiguous that I still cling on. I just wish he'd tell me what he really felt about it so I could move on. I hate him for leaving me dangling."

Her words had seemed to just goosh out of her at the end and she was surprised at how much she had revealed. Not just to Vincent but to herself. But plus alcohol, it felt good too.

"I hate it."

Vincent looked at her with concerned eyes and she noticed her eyes had gone a little wet. She looked away embarrassedly and he smiled warmly, trying to make her feel less awkward.

"Hey, it's okay…who is the sonofabitch anyway, to make you so upset?"

She laughed again this time, out of alcohol and bitterness.

"My boss."

"The one who interrogated me?"

"Yes."

He handed her a tissue and they sat in silence for awhile.

"Sara Sidle, I think I can make you happy."

She raised an eyebrow.

"In a month, it will be February. Valentine's Day. I'll send you the biggest, best Valentine's you'll ever receive in your lifetime. Just you wait for that day Sara Sidle…"

And with one last charming grin he left a bill large enough to cover theexpense of both their drinks and left the bar.

He still had the smile on his face as he walked over to his car and he whispered to himself in the cold, January air.

"Gil Grissom…"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 1**

"Okay we've got a D.B. outside the Monaco, Warrick, I want you and Nick to work on that, Catherine too…it might get messy, some of the higher personnel are involved…and then we've got a routine break and enter of a local art gallery…Sara you're with me on that."

Grissom looked things over one last time and then closed the case files shut with a snap.

"Get to it."

Sara and Grissom were packing up their field kits and about ready to go in the Tahoe when one of the reception desk secretaries called out and stopped them.

"Sara! You've got a fax from a Dr. Lurie?"

"Oh right, hang on Grissom."

As she left to go pick up her fax Grissom stood still for a moment. Then he frowned. He knew that name, he knew that name very well and he wasn't too pleased with the supposed association between that name and Sara.

Goddamnit. Today was supposed to be a good day too. He had been planning to ask Sara if she wanted to join him for lunch after their case was wrapped up. It looked simple enough, they just had to process the scene and file their reports.

Grissom couldn't deny to himself that he was hopelessly drawn and attracted to his co-worker, but he still couldn't bring himself to do much about it. Every time it came to obviously admitting anything, he would shy away. When it was his turn to offer something, he got scared and ran.

He knew he had to stop. That he had to push her away or confront himself and give himself to her, but he was stuck fast in a little niche where he could hurt and run away from hurt. He couldn't help but be selfish sometimes, especially when it came to her.

"Dr. Vincent Lurie?"

"Yeah, he faxed me some prescription slips. Headache medicine. They're like morphine for migraines, amazing stuff, but you need a doctor's note."

Grissom was trying to keep his anger (and jealousy?) in check.

"What a swell guy he is, doing that for you."

Sara looked up, sensing his annoyance and frowned a little.

"That bother you?"

"Sara, he was the primary suspect in the Debbie Marlins case, he _murdered _her and you're consorting with him."

"I'm not going to defend him, but I'm also not going to let what you just said bother me. What's it to you what I do in my own personal time?"

"It's the world to me!"

She stared at him shocked and he continued, letting his anger leak out more.

"How do you think it looks like, when a CSI gets personal and buddies up with a murderer? If not legally, then think of it ethically!"

She stared at him then with the utmost contempt and pushed her hurt of shattered hopes far behind the dark pupil of her eye so he couldn't see. But he had, and he looked away from her. When he had let out the slip up he had did his best to cover up.

Perhaps too good of a job. Damnit, he hadn't meant to be so rash…

"Sara…"

"Drive. We have a scene to process."

Grissom looked over at her in the passenger seat and she refused to look back at him. Neither of them were happy at all and the drive to the art gallery was a gloomy one.

* * *

When he released her from shift she left quickly, not having said a word to him the whole time that didn't relate to the case. It was fairly simple, they had found fingerprints, ran it through CODIS and got a match. Brass was already out to have a little 'talk' with the felon.

Grissom sat dejectedly in his car, not having moved out of the parking lot for five minutes of heartbroken silence. Why couldn't he do anything right about that girl?

He was about to drive off when he noticed someone tapping on the window of his car. He looked out and saw Vincent Lurie. He frowned a little and rolled down the window.

"Dr. Grissom, I was trying to find you inside the building."

"What for?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Sara?"

Grissom's eyes narrowed.

"What about her?"

Lurie looked a little agitated and anxious.

"Well, it's a bit of a delicate matter, and you being her supervisor and all…"

Grissom unlocked his car door and stepped outside where he could better face Lurie.

"What is it you want to tell me?"

Lurie grinned and the hypodermic needle pierced Grissom's arm and injected half of its contents into his veins before he could even react. He suddenly felt cold and on fire at the same time and he stared at Lurie in numb horror as the doctor injected the rest of the drug into his system.

Lurie broke his fall and whispered into his ear.

"She's too good for you."

* * *

Grissom awoke with a dead feeling to his limbs. It was as if his muscles had all gone slack. He was sitting in a chair, unable to move and it was a couple seconds more before he realized the cold barrel of a gun was pressed against his forehead.

"I doubt you can move Dr. Grissom, but this is for just in case."

Grissom's mouth felt dry and it was a painful moment of his breath hitching in his throat before he could speak.

"What…have you done?"

Lurie smiled, a pleasant smile reserved for charming patients and calming them either in the waiting room or as he examined them. A nice smile.

"This is a kangaroo court, and your trial is now in session.

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**A/N **Thank you for the reviews, please keep'em coming! And to answer a question/comment, no he's not going to kill him...yet...((looks around nervously)) 


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **Next chappie, thanks for your reviews. Keep telling me what you think. And no, I'm not going to kill Grissom...so far...((evil laughter)

Enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 2**

Lurie seemed to be content to just watch Grissom for a moment, and then he tapped his fingers against his chin, contemplating the drugged man before him.

"Do you love her?"

Grissom blinked.

"Sara, Dr. Grissom. Do you love her?"

All of a sudden Grissom felt a rush of utter most, blackest hatred for the man before him. That cocky sonofabitch who was twirling his gun on his finger and mocking him. He hated him so much.

"Yes."

"You hurt her."

What? Grissom stared at Lurie with abject horror, his mouth open, struggling to say something but not quite able to find the words. How could this man pierce him so well? How did he know _any _of this?

Lurie continued,

"I know she's not Debbie. Don't think I'm delusional about that. I know very well that she's her own person. She's beautiful and strong, and she doesn't deserve to be tortured by you."

He twirled the gun and Grissom stared stonily ahead, not wanting to look at him.

"She talked to me, you know. Poured out her heart to me. About how much you hurt her, about how she wishes it could all end. About how pathetic and silly she feels, still clinging on to you, in hope of something. It was really quite tragic, it almost made my own heartbreak pale in comparison."

Grissom felt his heart soar when he heard those words, even though he was in the worst of circumstances, to know that Sara actually did care for him in some way—

"And I've decided to help her. You're not going to hurt her anymore."

"Hurry up and kill me then."

Vincent Lurie started to laugh, and it was the most horrible laugh that Grissom ever heard. It was absolutely terrible because it was so normal and pleasant. No one so twisted should have been allowed such a warm, charming laugh.

"Oh Gilbert…Gilbert…I'm not going to kill you. That would not be logical. She'd mourn over you, pine over you and instantly forgive you everything you've done and just go on, leaving her wounds festering. Death is so easy an absolution.

"No, Dr. Grissom, you are going to do as I say. You're going to be cruel to her, you're going to make sure she gets the idea loud and clear every time you interact that you don't care for her. That you hate her, that you've just been tolerating and humouring her up until now, and now you're too tired to keep up the façade. You're going to break her heart, but then, finally she will be able to get over you. And she will not ever think of you in a good light anymore.

"Gilbert Grissom…you're going to make sure she doesn't love you anymore."

"No…"

He hadn't even realized the soft utterance of despair had left his lips until he saw Lurie's smile widen even further.

"I'm a doctor, a medical one. Have you not heard that saying, that those who know how to put you together, know best how to take you apart? If you don't make her fall out of love with you, I'm going to kill her. Then she won't have to suffer you, won't she?"

He leaned closer until their faces were barely an inch apart.

"Believe I can, and I will do it. Of course, you can analyze this until you're sick. How I possibly wouldn't be able to, so many complications, yaddah, yaddah. I would go to jail, I would be downright stupid or crazy to barge into a building full of cops…

"Dr. Grissom I _am_ crazy, and I might go to jail, but that can't reverse anything I could do, now could it? There's always the chance that I won't succeed, even though there's so many different, devious ways I could do it, I must admit there's still a chance I might not be able to."

Lurie cocked his head and looked interestedly into Grissom's eyes.

"But judging by the look on your face, that's a chance you're not willing to take."

* * *

Sara was sitting in the break room, reading a book.

Or at least that was what she was doing a few minutes ago. Whenever he walked into the room, she knew, and her eyes hadn't absorbed a single word on the page since.

"Sara? Could I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked a little antsy, and she knew then it must be incredibly important.

"In my office?"

"Sure."

In his office he still seemed distracted and he asked her to sit down, and then started pacing around the room. It concerned her to seem him so distressed but it was also a little comical, and endearing and she couldn't hold in the laugh.

"Calm down Grissom, what's up?"

He opened his mouth, struggling to say something and then closed it.

"Come again?"

He opened his mouth a second time when his cellphone rang. He picked it up instinctively, grateful for a distraction.

"Grissom."

"Remember, I'm watching you."

The other line hung up and Grissom's heart sank. He closed his cellphone and looked at the beautiful woman in front of him. Dr. Lurie was right on every account, and he hated that so much.

"Sorry I've…I've got to run."

And he dashed out of his office, leaving a confused and dejected Sara inside.

He _hated _Lurie so much…


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **Ok not a very good day, something screwed up with my account and my hit counter, and I sent a problem ticket through support. and ka-boom, I can't get in to look at the status of my ticket now. And the comp just turned off and on again so I've had to edit and write this document twice. Sigh.

Hope y'all enjoy the chap though, more of Lurie's diabolical plan.

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**CHAPTER 3**

"Mother Mary, what is that?"

Dr, Lurie laughed and gently placed the surgical implement back into its case.

"Like it?"

"It looks absolutely vicious."

"The hospitals designing and patenting it, a tool designed to make spinal surgeries just a bit easier. It looks like a monster, but it's brilliant for delicate work."

Sara shrugged,

"If you say so. By the way, thanks for the prescription slip."

Lurie took off his lab coat and began to gather his things.

"No problem. Do you want to grab some lunch?"

Sara gave him a little smirk, raising an eyebrow. He saw her hesitance and put his hands up in mock surrender.

"As friends. Or, friendly acquaintances. I have an idea to propose to you."

Sara felt more comfortable and walked with him on his way out of the hospital, silently agreeing to the lunch offer.

"Which would be?"

Lurie smiled and opened the car door for her.

"Which would be what you'd find out over the soup."

* * *

The restaurant was nice and cozy. Sara marveled at how easy it was to talk to the doctor. There was no pressure, they understood each other on a deep level and entertained each other. It seemed like the perfect friendship.

Sara was still wary. They understood each other on the level of rejection. However, the person who rejected her was still alive. She couldn't forget his involvement with the murder of Debbie Marlins but more and more it seemed to mean less and less.

"So I'm writing the article, but I need a forensic scientist to help consult. Also to help me with conducting the different experiments."

"You just had to choose the harder of the two to write about, didn't you?"

Lurie laughed.

"Well, surgical addiction's already been done, you know? Besides, wouldn't it be fascinating if you could obtain someone's emotional history through their physical remains? Think about it Sara. Just consider it, is all I'm asking."

Sara chewed thoughtfully and then nodded.

"If I can help, I will."

Lurie smiled,

"Excellent."

"Sara, I'm looking for Sara."

Grissom popped his head into the break room, he looked agitated and the rest of the team looked up. Sara had just come back a couple minutes ago and she looked up from the coffee machine, a question on her face.

"There you are, where were you?"

"Having lunch. With Vincent."

"Lurie?"

"Yes."

"Jesus."

Grissom popped his head back out and left just as instantly. Sara looked confused and when she looked at the other CSI's, they were looking back at her, hoping _she_ had an answer.

* * *

Grissom had run out of the room as fast as he could and ducked into his office, closing the door tight behind him. He had been fretting and panicking for the past hour or so when he realized Sara wasn't in the lab. It was her lunch hour but she was always eating and working.

What if Lurie had felt that he wasn't keeping up his end? What if Lurie had gone and done something to her? And there she was, safe, but having been delivered out of the spider's jaw by the spider itself.

He sat down at his desk and tried to calm himself. He needed to think, he solved cases by thinking, his whole life had involved thinking, so he would think now.

Lurie was a sonofabitch.

A smart one. He was luring Sara, making sure that he kept her close, and that she kept him close. Any false move on Grissom's part, and Lurie was close enough to Sara to do irreparable damage. As long as Grissom didn't make a false move…

…Sara was safe.

Grissom sighed. He had come back to the conclusion he was trying to run away from.

He had to do what Lurie wanted. The doctor had won. Grissom never had a chance.

"Griss?"

Grissom looked up.

"Sara, get out of my office. Our art gallery case just went haywire, and when I needed you, you weren't there. I expected better from you. You disappoint me."

She stood still for a second before, her expression still unchanged, walked out of his office and closed the door behind her.

Grissom let his head fall onto his desk and he tried to ride out the pain he felt, as if his heart were being squeezed by an iron band. It had begun, and he couldn't stop it now. He closed his eyes and whispered,

"It hurts me more than you, you know…"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **Yay, its the beginning of December! I have an extra long chapter because I won't be able to update anytime soon. My FF account is SO screwed up and I've sent another ticket through support. and I'm going to wait until things get cleared up before posting again. Hope y'all enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 4**

"Of course, emotions do have a physical form that we can see in the body, it's just not precise, is all. If I could find a way, discover some method of making emotions tangible, of finding them in the body…

…Are you alright?"

Sara looked up from preparing the different rag tag bits of DNA. Lurie looked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look it."

"It's nothing."

"Bad day at work?"

Sara looked up from the microscope and slowly nodded.

"You could say that."

Lurie put down his tape recorder and walked over to Sara. He moved the viewfinder away from her eye and looked at her seriously.

"Let's take a break. Come on, tell me what happened."

"_Nothing_, nothing happened."

"It was him again, wasn't it?"

Sara looked away, trying to hide how upset she was and Lurie pulled up a chair and sat down in front of her.

"He just said some things…I'm being stupid, it's nothing, really."

"He shouldn't have said them."

Sara shook her head and let out a muffled laugh from behind the tears she was keeping in.

"No, no, I'm just being sensitive. He was stressed out, he didn't mean to snap. A simple open and shut case went wrong somehow, our suspect had to be ruled out and there was no other evidence to lead us anywhere else. We have to start over. He was right, I'm always there, what else can people expect of me? I should have been there."

Lurie looked her hard in the eyes. He was frowning.

"You're defending him."

Sara looked up awkwardly.

"No…no I'm not…"

Lurie didn't reply but remained silent and looked at her thoughtfully.

* * *

"Grissom."

"Hello doctor."

Grissom was about to get out of the Tahoe, but shut the door of the car again and locked it. He sat in the parking lot as the rain fell onto his windshield.

"Lurie."

"She still loves you. Try harder."

"Anything else?"

"Yes. Find her a case she will emotionally attach herself to. Let it drive her to the ground, let her obsess over it. When she's nearing burn out, pull her off of it, and ridicule her about it. Jab her with her tendency to get over sensitive."

Grissom gritted his teeth and hated how well Lurie knew them.

"And where will I find a case like _that_?"

"I've delivered it to your doorstep."

Grissom's eyes widened but before he could say anything Lurie had hung up. What had he meant by that?

* * *

"Dead body, Caucasian female in her twenties. Sexual assault. Brass ID-ed her, she was a Harvard grad here for a convention. Found in her hotel room."

He handed the case file to Sara and moved on, pretending to not notice the fire that sparked in the woman's eyes. Calmly, he handed out the rest of the cases and pretended nothing was out of the ordinary.

His pager beeped and he looked at it.

"YOU'RE WITH HER"

He put it away.

"Sara, I'm with you. You'll be primary CSI, I'll follow."

"Alright, let's get to the hotel."

As they walked down the hallway and to the parking lot, Sara read over the case file. Grissom knew what she was reading and what was probably going through her mind. He could see the little frown line between her eyes and he forced himself not to look at her.

"It's sad what people do to each other."

Grissom couldn't say anything.

* * *

The hotel room was a mess. The lamps were broken, the bedside table was overturned, and the corpse lay tangled among the bed sheets and blankets. There were obvious signs of struggle but it seemed that the attacker had overpowered her.

Sara was solemn as she took photographs of the room and began to process. She was looking through the woman's possessions when she looked up to Grissom for some form of support or comfort. Her voice was tight.

"She was studying science. She was here for the medical and forensics convention they have for university students interested in the field."

Sara smiled bitterly as she held up a magazine she found on the floor.

"She reads the Forensics catalogue I do."

He stared stonily back.

"Process, Sara, process the scene."

She did, with such care. Every time she found a piece of evidence her eyes would light up and she bagged it with triumph. She was meticulous, she didn't let a single thing slip through and her field notes were long. She saw a bit of herself in the victim and it amazed Grissom how Lurie had found someone like the dead girl.

He had gotten a call on his cellphone he knew to take in private.

"Hello doctor. Later at the lab you're going to tamper with the evidence and make sure nothing incriminating that leads to me will show up. Let her have it processed, but switch it with results I will give you. I'll also get you evidence to replace it with."

He hung up and walked back into the hotel room.

Sara was snapping off her latex gloves and looked around the room.

"I think that's it. I'm sealing off this room though, it can be used to further the investigation once we have more information."

"That's silly, the hotel's not going to let us seal it off for an indeterminate time. Let's just get back to the lab."

Sara looked at him, shocked.

"Grissom, we need this room to later block out the position of our victim and suspect. Where they went, how they moved, what happened…"

"What's there to know? He walked in through the door, we've already got enough photographs of the scene if we want to reconstruct it later. Let's go."

"Aren't you the one who's always going on about assumptions and being thorough?"

"Aren't you the one who's a little too obsessed about this whole thing?"

Sara now looked at him with contempt and angrily passed by him.

"You don't make any sense at all."

Grissom didn't have the heart to call out again and once she had vanished from his view, he slid down the doorframe and shut his eyes tightly.

* * *

It was morning and Sara was tired from processing the DNA she had gathered. She decided to go home and not log overtime today. Once she came back well rested she would attack it again and would lose sleep then.

She saw Dr. Lurie at the reception desk and walked up to him.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you?"

Sara smirked,

"Try again."

He laughed.

"I was just placing an order for a dead body. Yum. You know, for my investigation? I'm hoping some John Doe open and shut case will pop up soon."

"I think you'll be in luck, we have a bunch of homeless men who just drank themselves to death."

"That's wonderful, breakfast?"

Sara looked around her at the lab. It was her second home, she lived here, loved here, had her heart broken here. She was new to venturing out of here.

"Let's."

And they walked out the door together.

* * *

Grissom looked at the package that Dr. Lurie had left him by the receptionist's desk. What a cocky bastard, letting material like this out in the open.

He looked through it and knew then that Lurie was insane, but genius. The DNA and the test results were general enough to match anything that Sara had collected that was his, but because it was someone else's it would veer them off in another direction altogether. It was also the DNA of a known felon, he had worked the case.

He sighed and closed the bag.

"Grissom?"

"Hi Greg."

"I've got the DNA processed from the case you're working on with Sara."

"That's great, leave it with me. I'll make sure she gets it."

"Yes, sir."

Greg placed the test results on his desk with a smile and left. Grissom could only look about himself with dread and wonder how things had come to where they were. Then he opened the bag Lurie had given him and switched it with the evidence Sara had collected.

His cellphone rang and when he picked it up Lurie only said two words before hanging up.

"Burn it."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N **Yay I'm back! Supprt.fanfiction just reset my hit counter, meh, but at least it works now! See how much I love my readers? lol, enjoy the chap and have a nice day! (I have burned the roof of my mouth and it hurts to eat...grrrr...)

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**CHAPTER 5**

"When someone undergoes stress, there are physical marks of it. We can sometimes see it in the muscles, sometimes the body releases fluid, the neurological pathways are different…and that's just stress. David Suzuki did a study, Passion and Fury…he looked at how emotions had physical triggers."

Sara looked up.

"You watched that?"

Lurie gave an embarrassed smile.

"No…actually, I heard about it too late…haven't been able to find a copy anywhere. But it proves interesting all the same, no? I just believe that if emotions have that sort of marking, there has to be scarring. We can already tell different aspects of a personality through physicality, this is just one step further."

Sara sighed and yawned, having finished the preparation for numerous microscope slides.

"Well then I guess in that department I'd be quite battered."

Lurie looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"But you're better now, right?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess so."

She felt her eyes sting and looked at the floor.

"Sara?"

"I'm sorry, it's just…"

Lurie ushered her off the stool and onto the small couch beside. He had turned his basement into a bit of a laboratory, but made sure to have one piece of comfortable furniture. He sat down beside and looked at her with concern. She heaved a sigh and for an instant he thought he _could_ see all the weariness and scars of her life.

"…I've got a case I'm working on. And the girl…she's so much like me. I can't help but see myself in her, she lived for her work, or at least what she was studying, and she seemed a bit alone…"

Sara paused a moment, wondering if she should have let out that last bit, but continued nonetheless.

"It was such a senseless, mindless murder too. We have no suspects, we don't have motive, we don't really have anything. Just some hairs and skin cells. It's evidence, but somehow it's nothing. We couldn't even keep the crime scene, Grissom made me give it up—"

"Grissom."

Lurie's voice was hard and Sara looked at him with a bit of surprise.

"Yes…I'm fine about it though, he was right. Stuff like this happens all the time in Vegas, and I could tell it was starting to wear on him a bit. When does it become too much, you know?"

Lurie breathed heavily through his nose and closed his eyes. He was calming himself down and when he opened his eyes again it was with a soft smile.

"Yes…when?"

* * *

Grissom had found the barrel in a district where there were lots of homeless people. He had coated the insides with bleach that reacted with luminal and destroyed blood evidence. He burned the evidence inside the barrel until it had been reduced to cinders. He then got another barrel that the homeless used for heating and dumped all its contents of coal dust and burnt garbage. There was enough contamination for it to be extremely difficult to trace any of the former material.

He then sat in his car and leaned heavily against the dashboard. He couldn't believe what he had just done.

The passenger side door opened and Lurie climbed inside.

"How did you know I was here?"

The good doctor smiled,

"Remember, I'm watching you."

"Well what do you want this time?"

Lurie clucked his tongue disapprovingly and had a highly amused look on his face.

"Now, now, I don't think that's the kind of tone you want to use. I'm just checking up on an old buddy of mine, can't friends meet now and again?"

"I'm not your friend."

"No…I guess you're not Dr. Grissom. But you're in the grip of my fist and I believe that's the first time you've ever been under the complete control of someone else. Burns you, doesn't it? Now, the case of the Harvard grad is going to wrap soon—"

"It is?"

"—_I _want you to wrap it soon. That will be quite a wedge you'll put in between yourself and Sara. But just in case you get cold feet I decided to refresh your memory today."

Lurie held up a small jar full of small, white pills. He shook them playfully.

"These are Sara's headache pills. They're strong but they're relatively harmless. You could pop a whole jar of these and not do any serious damage to yourself. It's just a certain substance in these pills that has a strong reaction to another happy, little substance which can do damage, which is why they need prescriptions.

"I gave her two of them as a trial before giving her a prescription. I put a little bit of that reactionary substance in one of the pills."

Grissom leapt at him and Lurie laughed and pushed him back, effectively restraining him with the barrel of a gun discreetly pressed against his side.

"I also put a little bit of a substance that neutralizes the effect in the other. She was fine. But, from what I've seen, she's been having a lot of headaches recently. She's almost done with her jar. She'll need a refill soon. Who's to say I won't coat the next prescription with something quite lovely?"

Grissom felt cold dread seep through him and couldn't say anything, as meetings with Lurie usually ended. He could only stare at him with the hardest, most diamond gaze of blue he possessed.

Lurie laughed and got out of the car.

"Heed my words, Dr. Grissom."

* * *

"A dead end?"

Sara raised her eyebrows and then shook her head violently and looked at the test results again.

"No! Grissom, this case just can't go cold!"

Greg tried to calm her down, for once having to rationalize to an irrational party.

"Sara, I processed that evidence, I did all the DNA tests…it matches the victim in Warrick, Nick and Catherine's case. He's dead. There's nothing more you can do."

Sara glared at him and then looked at Grissom desperately.

"Griss, we shouldn't have left the crime scene. We shouldn't have let them have it. We need to go back, something might still be there—"

"Sara, it's a hotel room."

Grissom's voice had a snap to it that usually wasn't there.

"For God's sake how many people's DNA will be hanging around there. You could pin this murder on an innocent person. You collected the evidence, we got it processed, and just because the test results aren't what you like, doesn't mean we can go tear in there again. The case is cold."

She looked at him as if he just slapped her, but being a fighter, she pressed on.

"The suspect, he can't have committed suicide. Her killer's still out there, he must have planted the evidence and framed him, or there in on it together and then one partner kills the other…"

Nick who had been watching the whole thing in silence suddenly spoke up, his pride hurt now.

"Hey! I worked my butt off on that case and it was suicide!"

Sara glared back at him,

"You could have been wrong."

Nick's eyes narrowed.

"Wrong? Are you saying all that work is wrong? Are you questioning my credibility here?"

Sara looked as if she was going to yell right back but then she paused and deflated. She looked at Grissom, her eyes hurt and got up from the table.

"No…not _yours_…"

Grissom left soon after she had left the room and walked down the hallway. His phone rang and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. When he heard the throaty chuckle on the other line he hissed into the phone,

"I hope you're satisfied now!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N **Couldn't update sooner, something was screwing around where I couldn't upload documents, but it's smoothed over now. Enjoy the chapter!

And **Strwbrrycsi **you know that ending would be too cheap. I have to be a little more evil than that (smiles)

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**CHAPTER 6**

"Hey Griss, can I talk to you?"

Grissom looked up and saw the first and last person he wanted to see. She had found him, and sat down beside him on the curb of the parking lot. He opened his mouth, about to say something harsh but looked at her and softly said,

"Go ahead."

"It's just…I don't really understand what's been going on between us lately. You seem a little different. Is there anything wrong? Anything you want to talk about?"

Grissom looked at her. He wished he had the courage, years ago, to touch her face. Or run his fingers through her hair. To say something he truly meant or wished to say. But he saw his reflection in her eyes and saw a man who knew the burden all too well of being too late.

This helped him harden his heart.

"There's nothing wrong, and there's really nothing to talk about. I'm not sure what you mean about what's going on between _us_ though…Sara, I know you're upset about the case. That doesn't mean you're allowed to go on these emotional breakdowns, or pick fights with the rest of the team. I can't baby you anymore, or keep looking the other way. You have to learn to be professional. You've been on the job for years now."

He got up and brushed himself off, forcing himself not to look at her.

"I think you should maybe take some leave time. Maybe it will help you clear your head and remind you what the job means. Some alone time can also help you reflect on your own personal reasons for choosing this line of work, and get your motives straight."

He was about to leave when he heard her voice, whispered because she couldn't raise it any higher.

"I came here for you."

He felt his heart stop and he turned around. It was a mistake, but he looked anyway. She had tears in her eyes, the first time she let any emotion directly surface. He was sure she would be embarrassed about it later, but for now it seemed as if she could care less.

His hand reached out, as if to touch her, but then he remembered himself and forced it to drop and to avoid acknowledging it had ever risen.

"Wrong reason then."

He walked away and got into his car. He was shaking so badly he wasn't sure he could drive, but saw her still motionless in his rearview mirror and had to force himself to.

* * *

"Well done Dr. Grissom…well done…"

Lurie was taking his call in his bedroom. It was two floors above his basement where he was giving Sara some private time to wipe her tears and make herself look presentable. She had walked into his house, a face as set as stone and he knew what was up.

"You must have quite some experience in this, and it amuses and yet disgusts me in retrospect. I believe she must have been quite a lively spirit a couple years ago, and now she's a pale shadow in comparison."

"That's not true."

Lurie chuckled,

"Oh, Dr. Grissom, how well and for how long did you play these games with her?"

"I never played games with her-"

"Shut up. You play them well enough now. Make sure you keep it up. I want to see you later today, I trust you know where I live. I'm pleasedwith you on one end, but another issue has come up that I'm not pleased about at all. Midnight."

Lurie hung up the phone and walked downstairs, a fresh smile ready to charm and bedazzle.

"Alright, ready for the first round of tests?"

Sara smiled back, she seemed perfectly normal. It disgusted Lurie too, that she was so good at covering up her feelings. How much experience had she had?

"Ready."

Sara had a case file on the cadaver. Lurie would analyze the cadaver without looking at the case file, try and derive as much emotional history as he could from his findings and then consulting Sara, see how well he had done.

"Liver's quite toxic, alcoholic. Something must have driven our John Doe here to drinking. Hmmm…spine is curved slightly inwards, probably from being hunched over or slouching all the time…posture, implies a lack of confidence?"

He looked at Sara questioningly, hoping for a second opinion. She shrugged but looked encouraging.

"Hands callused, arms well muscled, he probably worked in manual labor, he also has some scars that correlate with such a profession. Implies a poor education. Probably ran out of luck with the construction job. How am I doing so far?"

"Well…you're not really getting direct emotional history, you're finding physical evidence that tells more about medical history and occupation and assuming they lead to certain emotions or situations. Accurate, but not direct."

Lurie frowned a little and looked at the corpse,

"Hmmm…yes, you're right. You're absolutely right."

He laughed a little and then scribbled different notes down in his notebook.

"Where would I be without you Sara?"

She smiled and didn't say anything.

* * *

Grissom sat, under insistence by the good doctor. He refused a drink though, and Lurie left him alone about that.

"I think, Dr. Grissom, that you're playing snake in the grass."

"How so?"

"You're hurting her, yes…you insult her and you provoke her, you tear her down with things that hurt her most, but you give her hope. Small things, subtle things barely noticeable but all woven together provide a subliminal message for her to still be able to trust you."

Lurie set his own drink down with force that the ice cubes clinked together and some of it splashed outwards. His eyes were narrow.

"I don't like it, it's very sly and it means you're contesting the control I have here."

"I'm doing nothing of the sort-"

"_Don't lie to me!_ I saw that little stunt you pulled in the parking lot, reaching out to touch her face, she noticed too, that's how _I _know…"

Lurie seethed,

"That burns me Dr. Grissom, you have no right to touch her. You have no right to try and institute yourself into her life again, you've had your chance and you've failed miserably. And now because you've got to give up, you just want her more don't you? You sick man…"

Lurie fumed and then sat down again. He pinched the bridge of his nose and silently calmed himself down, the gun having haphazardly swung to and fro from between his fingers.

"Leave Dr. Grissom and make sure you don't dick around like that again."

Grissom left with silent dignity but turned around when he had reached the door and stared hard at Lurie, still sitting in his chair.

"I hate you."

Lurie's black mood had broken and he laughed with delight.

"I wouldn't have it any other way!"

* * *

"You've got a D.B. at a shopping mall, Caucasian, female, on the younger side so try your best not to become blood sisters with her like every other one, Warrick, Nick you've got a hit and run in an area known for gang activity…"

Grissom pretended he hadn't noticed Sara flinch minutely at the cruel comment of his, but she let it quickly fade and looked through her case file coolly and made no comment back. She had an amazing poker face, she should have played.

His pager beeped and he looked at its message,

"STAY AWAY ON THIS ONE"

He looked up,

"Greg, go with Sara. I'm afraid I can't stick around. You'll be fine without, right Sara?"

She glared at him now, uninhibitedly.

"Yeah, don't worry."

She looked away, upset and then winced. She dug around in her pockets and came out with a pill jar, new. She opened it and was about to shake some into the palm of her hand when Grissom felt himself shaking so badly he couldn't control himself, and he knocked it out of her hand before rushing out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N **You guys are really cute and make me smile, smile, smile. To answer some questions, no I'm not new, I used to have an account on FF when I was BAD, floated around a bit, and recently made this new account. I've got another CSI fic, a one-shot and then a CSI-House crossover, sounds terrible, but I thought it was cool. (smile)

Don't lose any sleep over this! I lose enough sleep over fics to cover for all of you! and GO BEANS! (which in my school means, Lights, Cameras, Action!)

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**CHAPTER 7**

Grissom surveyed his handiwork as he looked around the room. Lurie had given him another case, and he had gone to the scene to get rid of any incriminating evidence. With all of his skills in forensic science, he was disgusted to confirm that he had done the best job anyone could do.

Grissom sighed into the glass screen door and then left.

* * *

Sara was lying down on the couch in the break room, her arm over her eyes shielding her from bright light. It had been an awful couple weeks, it seemed every case she had to work on, was of some young woman who was slaughtered for no reason. She followed the evidence but it never lead her anywhere.

And damnit she _was_ processing as well as she could and she _was_ being objective and following leads, she was doing her job properly. But why wasn't anything turning up? She started to question whether she was up for the job anymore or not. All those women lying on the slab, cold and dead. She couldn't help a single one.

Grissom was watching Sara. He barely slept these days, and he didn't normally get that much sleep to begin with. To protect her, he had to harm her. Ironically, this is what he had been doing from the start when he was hiding, what he thought was protecting her. Just now in this perverse context he realized how nothing had really changed and that tore him up even more.

Was there really no other option than to follow Lurie's demands by the letter? He couldn't tell Sara, on the off chance she didn't believe him then they were both dead. It was also too risky in alerting the police. Lurie was right. He might go to jail, he might get a death sentence, but it wouldn't alter the fact that Sara would be dead. He could kill Lurie…but that didn't seem like the right answer either, and he didn't think it possible.

And Grissom began to question his own futility. That he saw dead people day in and day out and that he always convinced himself all the processing was helping them. But they were already dead. What kind of help could you need then? So what was the point, why was he a C.S.I.? All your problems ended when you were dead.

Grissom stared at Sara. All your problems end when you die…

"Hey Gil, I brought you some coffee."

Grissom looked up at Brass and struggled to say and not say something. Finally it became too much and he walked past him. Brass looked at the retreating Grissom and shrugged, knocked on the break room door and gave the coffee to Sara instead.

"No one seems happy these days."

* * *

"Here's the results of the saliva you found on the glass screen. You're lucky it didn't evaporate by the time you got there. Relatively fresh."

"Thanks Greg."

"It's not going to do you any good though, it's Grissom's. Probably breathed onto the glass while he was processing."

Catherine took the results and walked out of the DNA lab. She frowned a little. Catherine was the primary on the case with Warrick and Sara working it with her. Grissom was on a completely different case and as far as she knew, she was the first one on the scene.

* * *

"I think it's time we dealt the final blow. It's crucial this happens soon, before the beginning of February."

Grissom had settled upon a manner in which he interacted with Lurie. He pretty much bowed his head and listened attentively but he made sure Lurie knew full well that he still couldn't be slapped around. That was bullshit of course, and Lurie knew and it amused the sick man, but Grissom didn't have much else to cling on to except cold gazes and layered insults.

"Why so eager?"

"Because there's a convention for medical doctors, biologists, forensic scientists, all the likes of people who deal with the human body. I will be attending, and you and Sara will be attending as well. Before it begins, you'll just have to be very clear with her about some things."

"And just what things would that be?"

"Don't be so snippy Gil. And don't try to be smart about it. You'll get an earpiece, and I will dictate what you're going to say. Should you deviate from my instructions, I'll still be watching the whole time. No second chance, she'll be dead. I'll have a sniper rifle with me."

Sara walked from her car over to where they were in the distance. Lurie grinned at Grissom and then walked over to Sara.

"Hey, I was waiting for you, I'm going to need your help today again after your shift is over."

"Oh sure…getting friendly with Grissom? Doesn't seem like him."

"Isn't. But tried. See you later."

"See you."

Sara walked over to Grissom but before she could say Hi, he turned on his heel and walked into the building, a stormy expression on his face.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Dr. Lurie snapped on his latex gloves and held up one of the vicious looking instruments he had invented.

"I'm going to remove his heart."

With a quick plunge and a vicious twist he had indeed, scooped out the heart from the man's chest cavity. It was quite messy but more effective than Sara had given it credit. The cruel metal tool was slick with gunky blood, and Lurie placed it on the table.

The heart in a dish he examined it closely.

"This is the heart of all matters."

"Ha, ha."

Lurie smiled, knowing it was a bad pun and he examined the heart more closely.

"Even if you don't find out much for your paper, you'll have all these odd instruments you've invented."

Sara then frowned a little.

"This isn't one from the lab. There's no Y-incision and Dr. Robbins would have embalmed him."

Lurie didn't seem very concerned,

"You're absolutely right. A wino walked into the hospital screaming in pain and died of a heart attack. Quite natural causes, no need to investigate or for an autopsy, I claimed the body. Done."

Sara shrugged but shuddered a little as she looked at the heart that had so easily been torn from the corpse.

Lurie smiled and his eyes glittered as he stared at the thing.

"Fascinating…"

* * *

"Sit down Sara."

She sat and Grissom finished scribbling on some forms and papers. Everything was mechanical in process but he knew to play the game well for the consequences were dire, and everything seemed natural enough.

The tiny earpiece was two-way and Lurie could also hear everything being said. He was chuckling at the moment.

"I think it's time we finally talked about things. I've realized that I haven't been clear enough in word or action. And that's not fair to you."

She sat very still in her chair and he felt something blocking his throat and couldn't bring himself to say anymore.

"Say it Grissom, say it or I will pull the trigger."

"Sara, it's…"

Grissom paused again, and he was fighting incredibly hard to not break his poker face, to make sure his demeanor seemed genuine and cold. But it was so hard, so hard…

"Grissom, do you want to see the sudden impact against her forehead, the entry wound, her _brains_ splattered all over the wall? Is that really a scene you want to process? Is her dead body something you want to photograph and catalogue, her corpse something you want Dr. Robbins to be cutting up on his table?"

Grissom blinked once.

"Sara, you have to let me go."

Her heart broke in her eyes, and she looked at him with a mix of contempt, fury, hopelessness and briskly got out of her seat and left the room. Her whole manner screamed that he was arrogant enough to think she still clung on, but her eyes said a different story. They told the truth of the matter and Grissom started to shake once she had left. How many times had he seen her retreat like that recently?

Lurie began to laugh and Grissom heard strains of music, repeated over and over and in disgust he tore the earpiece out of his ear and flung it across the room.

"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone…"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N **Okay, this chap is more packed than usual because after this, the update probablywon't be until long in coming, I've finally caught up on myself and have to buckle down and write some more. Hope y'all enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 8**

The next day Grissom was neither here nor there. Sara hadn't shone up for work, she had called in sick, and he had holed up in his office and didn't speak to anyone. He was sure that he was losing his mind.

She would truly be over him now, because really he had given her what he should have years ago. An answer. Closure. He should have told her with conviction either that he loved her, or that things would never be. But to say it so, it would set things in stone and he was afraid to be shoved into either position permanently.

Lurie's medicine, what a laugh. But it was actually something quite legit. Lurie was forcing Grissom to do the right thing, and the more he rationalized the crazed doctor's actions, the more grief he felt about himself, the more he felt confused and conflicted, and the more he wished things would have never turned out this way.

Now and again his hands picked up the phone, and once or twice he had managed to dial her number but always he put it down again.

He placed his head in his hands and decided upon a very terrible thing but things had come to a point where there was no other answer.

* * *

The whole way Grissom drove to Sara's apartment, he felt numb. And tense. There were all these emotions bubbling and boiling and waiting to explode out of him, but he was making sure to keep them all at bay. To keep himself in a constant state where they never truly went away, but he never acknowledged them either.

The gun in his holster had a full magazine, he wasn't leaving anything to chance.

He was surprisingly steady when he went up to her door and knocked, but his voice cracked a little when he called out for her.

"Sara? Sara are you home?"

The latch clicked and he waited with baited breath as the door opened.

"Hello Dr. Grissom, I was expecting you."

It was Dr. Lurie.

* * *

Catherine felt frustrated as she looked through the test results and the evidence. There was really nothing there that could be used. Not a thing. She wondered how a crime scene could be so devoid of evidence when she remembered that Grissom had been at the scene. Heavens know why, he always respected when a case was someone else's, but just maybe he had the missing link.

Catherine knocked on his office door and when there was no reply, gently pushed. The door swung open to reveal an office empty of Grissom. Which was odd. Frowning, she looked around and accidentally stepped on something that crunched under her heel.

"What's this?"

Bending down Catherine picked up a tiny, broken earpiece.

* * *

Lurie had shown him in and Grissom felt as if someone had spilled cold molasses over him and it crawled over his body at an agonizingly slow pace.

"She let me in, I'm a doctor, I cure her ailments, the like. Doesn't really have a cold or flu, but gave her some tea anyways. I put a sedative in it, she's fast asleep right now. And I see you've brought your gun with you, unusual. But I've already premeditated this, go on."

Lurie grinned,

"It's still quite satisfactory if you can go through with it. Imagine that! Killing the only thing that gave you happiness in this world, poetic injustice isn't it Gil? Go on, she's in her room, I'll wait out here. You'll come out having failed, and I'll be right, or you'll have done it and I'll be wrong. Either way, it amuses me greatly."

Grissom could only stare at him, but he found himself making his way towards Sara's room anyways. There was an insane curiosity within him to see what it looked like, and if he would really go through with 'it'.

Sara was curled up on top of her bed, still in her clothes and shoes. She rested her head on an outstretched arm, the other laid on the blanket in front of her, as if reaching for someone who wasn't there. Her face was softened with sleep.

Grissom sat down and looked and looked at her. He drank in everything about her and found it ironic. He could shoot her now and end it all. He'd either shoot himself or allow himself to be taken in, arrested, tried, put to death. He'd give up so easily now all of his reputation, his namesake, his job, he'd give it all up so easily for her now, when he couldn't before.

His hand reached out slowly, and nearing her face he could feel her warm breath beat against his fingertips. They gently landed on her cheek, stroking her skin, textured and real. He knew he couldn't do it.

But he also knew something else. He was Gil Grissom. He was still the person that she must have fallen in love with many years ago. And there was still a chance he would not fail her, if he remained himself. And the Gil Grissom he knew himself to be, was not one to pass up a game, or a challenge.

He got up and mused on how just a square inch of her skin could suddenly bring such things into focus. It was terrifying, he knew this was dangerous, he knew he would probably muck things up and he was hurtling himself into territories unknown. But he was going to.

A square inch of skin…

* * *

Lurie had laughed at him when he left her apartment building, stony and unresponsive. His passing remarks were taunting and to remind him to take her to the convention when the invitation was given to the crime lab, that Lurie was attending as well and that was when the entertainment would truly begin.

That was true, that was very true.

He watched Sara the next day as she moved around the lab, went about with her work and her life. Scarred, finally with the biggest scar, but fighting and living. They were both pawns in this game, and it was a game he surely didn't understand himself, but Grissom felt some new delirious giddiness in that he was going to play it.

Even if it meant they were both to die, he had to remain the person that she must have loved before.

His phone rang.

"Grissom."

"It's Lurie, I'm just making sure you know today will be the day you get the invitation. You should mention it to the team when you're handing out case files, select Sara to come with you. You can jab at her about it there. We're moving to new territory Dr. Grissom, make sure you play your part well. If things go right, I won't need you afterwards and your part will be over."

Grissom was silent.

"I'm monitoring you. I have managed to obtain access to all the surveillance cameras in this building and I've discreetly placed one in your office, the conference room and the break room. Make sure you don't try anything."

Then Lurie hung up and Grissom calmly put his phone away. Things were starting now.

* * *

There was a part of the building untouched by security cameras. There was a back entrance from the parking lot that was covered by a camera. The corridor from it leading back to the lab, however, there was a stretch of that the cameras couldn't pick up because of angles.

Grissom waited in that stretch of corridor, until Sara came by that way to exit via the back entrance that lead straight to the parking lot. He waited with infinite patience and he was rewarded.

When Sara saw him she ignored him and didn't give him a passing glance, she fumbled through her pockets for her keys. While she was distracted, and when she was fully within the untouched area, Grissom put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She looked up at him in surprise, and started to grow angry.

He stepped up close and whispered softly into her ear.

"Whatever has happened or will happen, just remember this…"

Without giving her a chance to react or respond he took her face in his hands and placed a searing kiss on her mouth. No matter how brief the few seconds were there was hunger, and need and a desperation crushed onto her lips.

He didn't meet her gaze again, but pushed her gently towards the exit and she left, numb and in shock. Grissom slid down the wall, his lips still burning and waited for the lapse in the cameras when they ran out of tape before he left as well.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N **Am back, everybody give a wo0t. I'm so sorry for taking this long to update, but now I promise they'll come much sooner without you guys having to wait a month or so. Thanks a bunch for sticking with me, enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 9**

"_And a big yellow taxi took away my old man…_"

"Can I put my feet up on the dash?"

"Sure."

"_Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?"_

With an irritated flick Grissom turned off his car radio and stared blankly ahead at the road. Sara sat in passenger beside him, zoning out as they both watched miles of highway zip away from underneath them.

He had talked about the convention during their daily morning meeting and wheedled Sara into coming along with him. Warrick and Nick were on a hot case they couldn't put down, Catherine was too busy with Lindsey's upcoming recital and Greg was at a junior level compared to Sara. Nice and clean.

"So? You're going to be listening to a bunch of doctors talk about diseases and stuff. Have fun."

Their former DNA lab technician gave a wry smile, still miffed that he couldn't go on the road trip but conceded that the convention itself would have bored him to tears.

And so here, Gil Grissom driving the Tahoe, Sara Sidle beside him, the pair made their way to Salt Lake City. A plane could have been provided for them, but interstate 15 wasn't bad, and Grissom had an ulterior motive for being locked in a car with Sara for days.

Her phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sara, it's Vincent."

"Hey, how's it going?"

"I'm on my way to this convention up in Utah."

"Really? What a coincidence, I'm on my way up there too."

"That's a surprise, am I going to see you at the airport?"

"Airport?"

Grissom could only guess who she was talking to and what they were saying. Under his breath, so only she could hear he muttered,

"Tell him I'm driving you there."

She stared at him for the longest second before answering Lurie.

"Grissom's driving me there."

"To the airport or Utah?"

Grissom accelerated and dove into a tunnel and the signal on Sara's phone broke up. It disconnected and she stared at it, hissing white noise, before closing it and putting it away. She didn't look at him. He didn't look at her.

When Lurie found out that Grissom and Sara drove their way to Utah, he knew that he would be in for something. That meant he had to play his cards very carefully, but regardless, taking this road trip had become essential.

Sara's phone rang again.

"Hey, I'm sorry, tunnel, the phone broke up."

Grissom could just hear Lurie's sweet tones through the receiver and his peripheral vision showed him the small smiles that were beginning to curve on her lips. The two crescents of flesh he had finally managed to taste.

"Sara, we're going to have to pull over soon for gas."

She gave him a distracted 'sure' before resuming her conversation.

Grissom gave an almost inaudible 'tut' of annoyance. Keeping one hand on the wheel, his eyes glued to the road, he stretched his right arm over to where she was. His fingers brushed against her hair and gently scraped along her neck before snaking around her shoulders. He cupped his hand over hers. He pulled into the gas station as his wandering hand found her cellphone and folded it shut.

She stood there, numb and burning, unable to look at him or say a word. He parked beside the pump, and when ready to get out of the car, he turned to look at her. He leaned in real close and stared at her with vibrant blue eyes until she could slowly turn her head to look back. A small smirk on his part.

"We're here."

* * *

"I'm serious, I'll drive."

"I'm fine Sara."

"You've been driving six hours straight, you're a monster."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're tired. And I refuse to get into a car crash because you're too tired to drive."

"I said I'm fine."

"I can drive too you know, I've got my license and everything. You think I don't have the credentials for it or something?"

"Sara, I'm driving."

Her foot jiggled with annoyance on the dash.

"Fine. Drive. But you're pulling over at the next stop we run into."

"We can go a couple more hours."

"No we can't. I'm just exhausted sitting here all day, you're probably more tired having to drive—we need a pit stop, okay? And if you disagree or think any different, then I'm just going to have to fight you for the steering wheel while we're going 100 an hour!"

A wry smile, eyes never leaving the road.

"If you wish it."

They stopped at an inn that popped up about ten minutes afterwards, and Sara collapsed on the diner table. Grissom bought a late lunch and forced her to eat at least some of it, though she was too tired to do anything. When the afternoon sun peeked through the Las Vegas winter, warming the spot where she was and carrying her to sleep, Grissom smiled and rented a nearby room for a couple hours. He came back and carried her in his arms, depositing her gently on the bed.

When Sara woke up it was to find that afternoon had turned to evening, that she had been sleeping on top of an old, ratty bed and that Grissom was dozing in the chair beside. She slowly crept off the bed and walked over to where he was sleeping. She stared at him for a few moments before gently shaking his shoulder.

"Griss, get up. Get up."

He stirred awake to see her smile softly back.

"What time is it?"

"I think it's 7."

"Oh shit, we were due out an hour ago."

He quickly gathered their things and carefully opened the door.

"If we leave quietly enough, they might not charge us overtime."

And so like a pair of bandits, they crept into the Tahoe and fled the scene. And thinking of themselves in terms like that, Sara couldn't help but smile, and was glad it was starting to get dark so he couldn't see.

* * *

There was this odd sort of buzzing noise and Sara couldn't sleep.

She had let Grissom drive for the rest of the day and they pulled into a decent looking motel at around midnight. After she had sprayed down the sheets and mattress with disinfectant and got ready for bed, Sara crawled in and tried to sleep, musing on how exhausting just sitting around could be.

But there was this buzzing coming from Grissom's room in the dead of the night that was starting to bore into her head.

Irritated, but mostly curious she pressed her ear against the wall and tried to hear what it was. Once she picked up the sound clearly, she allowed herself to move away from the wall and felt her head drop to her pillow. This was…this was so _weird_ and confusing and…

Her cellphone rang. She looked at the display screen. It was from Lurie. She paused a moment in the dark. She should pick up, talk to him, try and ease her mind off of everything that had happened today. Even though it felt like nothing had, and she couldn't pin exactly what was going on. He was good at helping her sort that kind of stuff out.

But she turned off her phone and laid her head down on the pillow. Once her ears adjusted to the silence once more, the buzzing turned into something soft and audible. She closed her eyes and let it wash her to sleep.

Grissom was reading love sonnets out loud in his room.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N **Yeah, I promised a fast update...and I guess it is in comparison to last time, right? Right? Anyways, hope you enjoy, House got a little cameo and I expect he'll pop up now and again briefly (because I love crossover moments) and the ball is finally rolling.

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* * *

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**CHAPTER 10**

"Grissom and Sidle. LVDP."

"Vegas, gosh that's so amazing. You must be, like, so disenchanted because you're surrounded by all this glamour all the time."

The receptionist gushed over them for a while or so and Sara yawned while Grissom smiled and got the keys to their rooms.

"You're one of the last ones to sign in so we only have a connected room, or we could split you guys up so you'd share a room with another girl or guy-"

Grissom leaned over the counter and made sure she could see him.

"You'll make sure we get that connected room, won't you?"

The receptionist blushed and nodded,

"Oh, sure!"

Sara yawned again and picked up her bag with irritation, snatching the room key away from Grissom and stalking off to the elevators. He trailed close behind, a hollow smile plastered on his face.

* * *

Sara did not like nor did she understand why Grissom had to choose _this _particular audience to speak in front of the first day they were there but she assisted him like they had discussed anyway, without complaint.

It was a group of all the older scientists and doctors, all from around the South, and all tired and boorish after their noon meal. She knew they had to hold seminars to all the different groups that came some time or after, but couldn't Grissom have chosen to tackle this bunch at least _after _they had slept one night?

"We used the insects' maturation as a linear regression timeline to determine the corpse's COD in one of our cases five years ago. Insects arrive at a crime scene in a specific order, lay their eggs-"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Sara stopped mid-sentence and tried not to show her distaste for chauvinistic mankind all too obviously.

"Please doctor, if you let me continue it will all be explained-"

Grissom stepped in, smiling sheepishly at the crowd.

"I'm sorry, she's like the talky Vana White."

They all roared with laughter, many of them pissed out of their mind with warm beer and travel fatigue. Sara felt her cheeks burn and it took everything in her to slip out of the room when they wouldn't notice and not blow up in front of Grissom right there and then.

She hit the bar.

* * *

She nursed a screwdriver, though she had really only drank a sip of it. She couldn't _believe _he had said that. She couldn't BELIEVE it! They were recounting Kaye Shelton's case, a victim he already knew she was very sensitive about. He also knew how touchy she was about the issue of domestic violence. She had broken down and related her sob story to him before! In her house!

And then…he just threw it all away. For a cheap laugh.

She didn't know what was going on anymore. She felt like she was becoming disillusioned and yet more enchanted by Grissom all at the same time. She couldn't believe what he had done to her in the panel, and yet that was just it. She _couldn't _believe it, and she couldn't believe it was him in that room and then she couldn't figure out which Grissom was which or if this was just some sort of dream or not.

"Drowning your sorrows in orange juice?"

She looked over at the man who had seated himself beside her. He had a craggy face and eyes just as blue as Grissom's. His nose was impossible long and he stared down it at her with bitter majesty. But it wasn't condescending…which was surprising. And refreshing.

"Spiked orange juice."

"Well, I guess that's what we're all here for."

He held up his glass of whiskey in cheers and they sat in a moment of silence in the quiet, empty bar.

"I guess that's why I came here at all. Nice vacation away from my 'boss', her precious hospital and open bar at the resort. Nice."

"And what hospital would you be escaping from?"

"Princeton Plainsboro."

"Never heard of it."

"Oh yeah, and where are you from?"

"I'm from the Vegas PD."

He frowned a little bit.

"Oh…well I have heard of that."

Sara smiled and extended her hand.

"Sara."

"Greg."

He shook it and shifted on the bar stool. She noticed he wouldn't put pressure on his left leg and that the bar stool was a bit too awkward for him to stay in one position for very long.

He noticed her noticing and with a look of knowing shook out a pill jar and chased down a couple with his whiskey.

"Drugs and alcohol. You're a doctor so I'm assuming you know that isn't very smart."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Proof that you don't need to be very smart to become a doctor."

They laughed easily together and she really wondered at life. The last time she was sitting in a bar with a doctor it seemed things had gone swinging from one extreme happiness or extreme depression to another with no happy medium. It was kind of funny she was stuck in the same situation again.

"Sara, hey, I'm glad you made it."

Lurie waved and walked over when Greg, her new drinking buddy, suddenly lifted up a cane and stopped Lurie in his tracks. He pointed it threateningly at him and gave him a good, hard glare.

"Back of buddy, I picked her up first."

Lurie looked down at him in surprise and then up at Sara, begging for help. Her eyes were laughing and she gave him a gesture that she'd catch up with him later, and because her amusement was infectious Lurie walked away in good spirits and left Greg to continue to spread his 'charm' on her.

Sara caught Grissom standing in the hallway out of the corner of her eye and watched as he followed behind Lurie out of her field of peripheral vision.

"So…Vegas, eh? Lots of hooters and hoo-hoo's I expect?"

* * *

"Please sit, Dr. Grissom."

Vincent Lurie was ever the image of a proper, well-mannered gentlemen. He offered Grissom a drink, and this time it was not refused. It was not touched, however, and it remained a poisonous gift Grissom kept beside him on the night stand. Lurie stretched comfortably in the recliner they had placed in his room. He was one of the first to arrive and he had the pick of the hotel's finer accommodations.

"Now why don't you tell me why you did not arrive by airplane?"

"The lab didn't find it necessary to fund for such excursions when we just as easily could drive."

Lurie grimaced a little, Grissom's words were prickly and he felt defied.

"Who oversaw that little detail?"

"The lab's overseer, Ecklie. I'm sure you know him."

Lurie smiled now.

"Yes I do, and I very well see him placing you in such a position. Fine. What rooms have you been given."

"Connected rooms."

Lurie threatened to frown again. Grissom paused leisurely before continuing.

"Because of our tardy arrival these were the only accommodations the hotel could provide for us."

"I believe I specifically asked them to hold rooms for you two."

"Well nothing was said about it at the reception desk and I dare say they must be occupied by now."

Lurie nodded, taking it all in. It was frightening how reasonable he could be, considering how irrational his motives were. He then looked at Grissom severely, and Grissom knew he couldn't keep poking at Lurie for the moment.

"I have…a sort of chip you could say Dr. Grissom. More a miniscule device, really. When planted on the subject's body, the chip, for we'll call it that out of convenience, will release a lethal substance into the subject's body upon activation through remote control. I have such a chip, and I have such a remote control, and the injection is quite deadly. It is very small, the subject will not even know that it's there. Everything will become final during this convention Dr. Grissom, you will make sure of it or you will push my hand to flip the switch."

Grissom didn't say a word and stared at Lurie. He then took the glass from the night stand and drank deeply of its contents. The poison, of a figurative sort, soaked into his lips and Lurie's confidence flickered.

"That's very interesting Vincent. A device such as that would have cost you all you have. You're a well-paid doctor, you're very wealthy, but it still must have taken all of your savings scraped together to purchase or develop something like that. You're putting everything into this game. It's the clearest example of your insanity."

Lurie glared at him for the longest time before he felt himself confident enough to speak.

"But it's very real and at the very least it will self-destruct without activation or deactivation in seven days. You don't know where I'll plant it. She just might lose a chunk of her head, or it will a blow a hole above her heart, or the base of her spinal cord-."

He saw Grissom's face flicker and this time it was his turn to smile.

"-or she just might lose one of those long, lovely legs of hers."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N **Yes, I have been very bad and I have not updated in a loooong time. I'm SO sorry guys, and I feel very sucky about it. Sorry! Luckily, all the rest of the chapters of this fic have been finished, so the updates will be regular. There are only maybe two or three chapters left in the fic, and I'm sorry if the ending comes abruptly. I wince, but it seems this fic sort of died in me, and you guys deserve an ending, even though it isn't as good as I had hoped. Thank you very much for all of your support and please keep reviewing and leaving constructive crit.

Love y'all, enjoy the chap!

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**CHAPTER 11**

Catherine was driving.

Oh yes she was, she was driving, driving, driving. Now and again her jaw would set or her head would toss with an irritated flick but she was driving. Nothing was going to stop this Willow from driving, and that's exactly what she was doing, her own stubborn sense of pride keeping her speeding.

She had fought with Lindsey and her mother, and she knew she shouldn't have dumped this on them all of a sudden, but the fight was bitter and the sting of it was causing her to drive non-stop, like a monster.

She was going to Utah.

What, with the odd way Grissom was acting, his DNA she had found at her crime scene, and the broken ear piece in his office…the phone call really just finalized everything after that. She couldn't drag the rest of the team into it, or the state police in Utah because of lack of evidence, but be damned if she wasn't going to come and make sure everything was just peachy.

"Wait a little longer guys…just a little longer…"

Driving.

* * *

"Hey Griss,"

Sara tried to catch up to him in the large hall. There were so many people crowded around her.

"Griss, wait up a second."

He knew she was there. It burned her to know, but she knew he was fully aware that she was struggling to keep up with him, trying to grab his attention, and he pretended he was just as deaf as he once could have been. He was chatting, laughing with another doctor and finally she broke free and touched his shoulder.

"Grissom, can I talk to you for a second?"

He looked at her, inclined his head slightly towards her general direction and appraised her with his cold, blue eyes. Not even a look, really.

"I'm kind of busy at the moment Sara."

She felt the old Sidle blood pumping through her with rocketing temperatures of molten magma. I know, her eyes saw, I know very well what you're doing and I don't mind making a fool out of myself like you want me to. I don't care anymore.

She tilted her head with defiance and forcefully drew him closer to her. She hissed quietly in his ear,

"You _owe_ to talk to me. Right now."

Grissom didn't meet her gaze but nodded and excused himself, following behind her as she stormed out of the convention hall.

It was already dark outside and in the cool night air, her breath flew out of her in angry plumes. He stepped up behind her and though the gap between them wasn't large, it was cool and icy and far more distant than it could have ever been before.

"What's this all about Sara, I was-"

"Just what the hell was up with you during our panel?"

"-talking to Doctor Caine."

He ignored her interruption in the middle of his sentence and with his eyes, forced her to repeat herself. It was humiliating, even such a tiny moment, and so many of these tiny dents were glancing against her that she was almost unsure of what was going on at all. Almost. Now, she realized she'd have to play his game, exactly like he wanted her to if she was going to get any sense out of it.

"What was up with you during our panel?"

"I don't understand."

"The 'talky Vana White'? That's one crass insult I didn't expect to hear from you. I expect-"

"I think you're taking this too personally."

"-decency from you."

She couldn't help but smirk at him a little this time. Quid pro quo.

"Weren't you the man who had only three things in the world that truly bothered him? People who hurt children, people who sell drugs to children and men who beat their wives? With that one comment you have completely demeaned yourself at the very least, if my feelings aren't something you want to bother with."

She stood high above him in triumph, and they both knew she had won.

"Do you really tape record everything I say?"

She had a sort of crazy bitterness firing through everything she was feeling and in anticipating what she was going to say or do. It gave her fuel to be merciless in return.

"Lame, Gil. Very lame."

He turned to go but stopped midway, his face gazing at her from behind his shoulder. His finger swiped his bottom lip (she felt the same swipe on her lip) and he mouthed a silent 'you won' before entering the building.

All the fire whooshed out of her, and she was still burning and trembling in her victory as she sat down on the curb, her lips tingling from a ghost of a kiss.

* * *

_Very good Sara, very good._

Even if Grissom won over Lurie, he was going to employ the very same tactics, and he was hoping the end result would more or less be similar minus the violence. Slowly, slowly he was weaning off Sara, and she was finally going to get rid of his influence on her life altogether. Only then, could she truly be happy, and could she truly make a clear choice.

Even if it wasn't him.

THWACK!

Grissom nearly tripped and fell over when something solid and hard connected with his kneecaps. He saw a flash of polished cane before he looked up at the owner. The knife-like nose seemed to cut right through him, and the thin lips twisted into a sardonic smile.

"Sorry, cripple."

* * *

"As you can see this investigation is doubly layered. It is an experiment to test the effectiveness of these new surgical implements, and it is also the study of physical signs of emotion. Even if my study on physical emotion fails, I will have very good results of these new tools and I believe it will bring great advances to the practical area of our field."

Lurie proudly displayed the gleaming metal instruments but paced around the lecture hall, choosing to cast them aside for the moment.

"But back to emotion. My experiments have included many subjects, and during this convention I am continuing the last rounds on my final subject. My experiment will conclude on the last day of this convention and the fresh findings, I will share with all of you first.

"The subject is a middle-aged man. He has been through a life of many hardships. He is introverted and socially underdeveloped. He experiences loneliness. He also experiences an obsessive drive towards perfection. These are more difficult emotions but I believe their signs will be present all the same. He has also been faced with rejection, and has experienced all the many emotions to come with such, anger, fear, sorrow, strong, passionate emotions which will make their mark all the more prominent.

"He has been twisted into bitterness, and into a position of malevolence, and manipulation. You will see this all in the very near future."

Lurie held his audience captive and he looked at them with a glint in his eye.

"I shall bring you his heart!"

* * *

A kiss, a kiss, what does a kiss mean?

"It was nothing more than a kiss."

"A completely innocent kiss."

Could a kiss really mean nothing?

"The kiss was a promise."

"The kiss sealed their love."

Could a kiss really mean everything?

And it was because of this one, stupid kiss that Sara had finally decided she had to do something on her lonesome. Whatever was happening between her and Grissom, she couldn't wait around to see how it would end, she was going to make the ending she wanted for herself.

And the only reason she gained this confidence to do so was because that kiss told her he wanted the same.

He wants me to find a way out, he wants me to beat him. To win this match against him.

_He_ kissed _me_.

And it was this scary fact that stopped her heart from hating him, but made it all the more clear that she had to break away. Break away from herself, break away to find herself again.

And it was because of the kiss that she didn't say anything when he knocked on their adjacent door and came into her room.

She was sitting on the small chaise long they had in her room, bathed in the soft light of the snow on the television screen. She was reading, actually, and it was the closest thing to a fireplace that she could get. Grissom sat down beside her, and it was an unspoken agreement between them from the moment he came in that they would leave things unspoken.

He ran his fingertips over her neck, searching, feather-light, ethereal because they almost weren't there. He traced his way down her shoulders, down the length of her long, arms.

She shivered slightly and his immediate soft whuff of breath beside her ear calmed her, told her to trust him. And she did. Told her that he would stop if she said so.

But neither of them said a word, and his fingertips began their dance at the small of her back.

They traced up along her ribs, stopping short just below her chest and then picked up again along the length of her legs, her sharp ankles, the run of her calf, the smooth contours of her thighs and then the hands came off and he left without a word.

Sara stared at the snow on her television screen.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N **Thank you very much to my readers and for all of their support, without you guys I would not be finishing this fic. A special shout out to Strwbrrycsi who's followed every fic I've written and consistently given reviews. Thank you, mwa! I need your reviews now more than ever now that the fic is coming to a close.

Enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 12**

"Ow!"

Sara twisted her body, trying to look behind her. Lurie had already bent down and chuckled reassuringly as he scraped at something in the soft crease at the back of her knee.

"Just a bee sting, don't touch it too much, it will swell."

"Did you get the stinger out?"

"Yup, put some cream on it later, it'll be fine."

"Yes _doctor_."

Sara laughed, harder so when another doctor took her completely by surprise by appearing right behind her on cue.

"Talking about me?"

She turned to see Greg and he escorted her to the next panel they were to attend. It was a panel for forensic scientists, really, but he insisted he was going to sneak in somehow. She liked Greg, Greg liked Sara. They were normally people who wouldn't form a connection so easily, but because they were both so aware of the full extent of their relationship, it made it as easy as breathing. There was also how aware they were of each other's emotional unavailability.

And Lurie seethed internally as he watched the two fast friends go, because it was the clearest example that forced him into a shock of a wake up. The world was very big. That's what he had to wake up to. There were other people in the world other than him, Gil and Sara.

There were so many other people.

* * *

"Yeah, I'll be there soon. Give me another day, I'll be there. You can hold out, can't you? Good. Bye."

Catherine hung up her phone and then looked ahead of her. The traffic jam seemed to stretch for miles. How could it have expanded so quickly, just in the time span she had to take a phone call? Urrgh…

Her head slumped forward to hit the car horn and she angrily bleeped at the highway, her urgency and desperation and anxiety screaming out with it.

The fully loaded gun holstered by her side remained silent, though.

* * *

The nights passed by with a held in breath. Always held in when he knocked on the adjacent door.

His frequent dances on top of her skin left her quivering throughout the day, and even when he was cruel, they made her see the guarded look in his eyes. Tonight was no different and as his fingertips explored the expanse of her long, long legs, he felt something catch.

Clever, very clever he could only think, it feels just like skin. But not Sara's skin. So you lose.

She felt a small sting from the back of her knee and caught a flash of a triumphant grin on Grissom's face. These nights were unspoken, and he did not break the sanctity of the silence now. He did not even smile, but she could see it threatening to come through from his eyes. He left the room.

And somehow she knew that was the last of it.

* * *

Grissom stared at the tiny thing on his fingertip and with pleasure he crushed it, crushed it, and reveled in the destruction of the purest of sciences. Science is now dead, science is now gone, and he smiles a terrible, happy smile.

* * *

"Yes, Vegas is a nice city."

"Wow, but you like, must get so much crime over there. I mean, with all the hookers and dodgy tourists and everything-"

Grissom thought about that for a moment, on the surface looking as if he positively enjoyed every single attention the receptions desk girl was giving him.

"I guess so. Every city has crime, but because we're such a hub with the out-of-towners we do see some unusual activity."

He grins and looks at her meaningfully.

"_Very _unusual activity."

She giggles, catching on.

"Ooh, like what?"

"Well, Vegas is a city where people go to have some fun. Sometimes the fun ends in very bad ways. We've seen some very strange things. The killer's modus operandi, the killer's weapon of choice, feather boas, whips, liquid latex, leather…"

She giggles, he is so nerdy when he talks, but it's endearing and all of it's extremely funny to her anyway. They flirt some more and no one notices his eyes sweeping the room to Sara, sitting on an armchair nearby.

"Should I whack him with my cane?"

Sara looks up at Greg and smiles.

"Hmm? Oh, I don't care."

She really doesn't and goes back to her medical journal. Greg finds it boring and zones out to his iPod. Grissom is beaming at the receptions desk girl, but he's thinking of Sara.

_You're free, free…now it's time._

* * *

Lurie nursed the whiskey as he lay in bed. He was drained, so very drained. The past few days had taken so much out of him and it seemed as if his body functioned on alcohol rather than blood now. His heart was pumping liquid fire and the poison of all men instead of something nourishing and rich.

He looked at the metal instrument in his hand, and he smiled.

_Valentine's day is very soon Sara…_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N **The end of the fic. I'd like to apologize about things, talk about writing, support, love, hope and good times but I think three words can sum up just about everything.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

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**CHAPTER 13**

I have no proof, just some crazy theory. Just some crazy theory and a phone call. I can't get anywhere with just that. But heck, I've been with Vegas PD for a good twenty years by now haven't I? Shouldn't my premonitions count as something? And even if the theory's just crazy, I'll sleep easier knowing that at least I was there to save a life in case it needed to be saved.

Catherine finally convinced herself. She got on her phone and with her cool tone, her badge, her credentials and all the professionalism she had within her-

-she called in the big guns.

* * *

Every time he looked at her he saw Debbie.

He promised himself that he had gotten over that. That Debbie was dead and that Sara was completely her own person. That he full well knew the distinction between the two and the reason he was helping out Sara was because she was someone in need of it.

But for a man who plays with people as if they were puppets on a string, the rationalization of his own mind can't be fully credited.

He felt like he was going insane. He already had, and he thought it would have been such a painful, scary place to go, but now all he felt was love. Desperate, needy love. Debbie's back, she's back, this is my second chance.

He wished he could love Sara, he wished he didn't have to go through rejection again, and he wished so desperately it almost became true, that she was Debbie.

"Oh Sara, the most beautiful Valentines in all the world that you could think of…"

And she laughed when he wouldn't divulge more of his secret gift.

* * *

"Now. It must happen now."

But Lurie hadn't needed to tell Grissom anything. In fact, although their agendas were quite different their motives were one and the same. Grissom was going to break Sara off from him for good and forever now, and he was happy to do it. Lurie's cold cruelty didn't need to tell him how to bend, he was going to do it already.

And it was only coincidence that both their timing matched.

"Sara, I've known you for a good, ten years I think?"

"Twelve."

"Twelve."

He repeats and he has no fear of smiling at her now, and he does so.

"And I know you have a very good idea of what I need to say."

"Yes."

She's smiling back. It is not the happiest of moments, but it is perfect in its stillness.

"I don't love you. And I never will be able to."

She looks at him, and it's not a happy moment, but there is no more pain, she is far away from that now. She still has a small smile lingering, genuinely, and he knows that it is done.

"Okay Gil."

It was a quiet moment but everything gave a shift. Things had shifted in their relationship now and it was empowering, intoxicating and relieving. Inevitability had finally passed and it was long overdue.

"Okay Sara."

* * *

"So is this how it will end Lurie?"

Sara was still a little groggy but there was unmistakably something going on next door and her brain was telling the rest of her body to wake up, because it was something not to be missed.

"This is quite sad, you seemed the very image of self-control and restraint. Here you are now, snapped."

"Shut up Grissom!"

Sara's eyes snapped open this time. She ran to the adjacent door, flew to it, forgetting about such trivial things like safety.

"Go ahead then. Have no qualms. She doesn't love me anymore, and I will die the happier for it."

Then, many things happened at once.

Sara burst into the room as Lurie was midway through plunging an awesome instrument of gleaming metal into Grissom's chest. She recognized what it was with a sickening feel to her stomach, she had seen that instrument reach into a man's chest and scoop out its heart many months before.

The door to Grissom's room burst open and a stream of Salt Lake city police officers flooded in, armed to the teeth.

Catherine burst in before them, her gun already raised and upon sight of Lurie she fired.

The bullet hit him in the cheek and he fell to the ground from the force of the impact, his face shattering.

The metal instrument grazed the side of Grissom's shoulder and Sara collapsed to her knees.

She couldn't understand what was happening, her brain couldn't register all this new information so quickly. She stared at Grissom's face, which was lined with concern, and it seemed to be the only thing she could ground to.

He knelt down beside her and checked her over, making sure she was alright, ignoring the blood soaking into his shirt from the superficial wound.

Catherine finally lowered her gun, a little shaky and she called out to Grissom before helping the cops.

"I figured out your phone call just in time. Couldn't have been more cryptic you sonofabitch."

The insult was affectionate.

And through all the bustle, Sara realized she had been staring dead into Grissom's eyes for the past minute, still without having registered anything in her mind. When he saw she had finally focused back to him, he spoke.

"Are you alright?"

"Why…why didn't you tell any of us before? Why didn't you tell me anything?"

It had hit her home like a slug a moment before and she had finished recoiling from the blast of information and finally seeing Lurie's corpse, the heart instrument, the cops clearing off the scene, information being exchanged, finally the world had fallen back into its tempo, and she got it.

"We could have helped you. We could have played his game right back, gotten help from the police, put bugs on him, protected you…analyzed the scene, processed the evidence, damnit, we could have done everything in our power Grissom. You've held so much faith in it before."

So much was left unsaid, so much that could only exist as things unsaid, and he looked and looked at her.

"All my life I have only trusted science. But when it came to you…science lost me everything. How was I supposed to trust it again?"

She suddenly became very aware of her surroundings. She was in Utah, in Salt Lake City, she was in a hotel room where a dead man lay, where officers were waiting to ask her questions, where paramedics were beginning to file in, where Catherine was looking at her with concern, where she was kneeling, and a strange man knelt beside her.

This was not the same man she had fallen in love with.

"I'm Sara Sidle."

The introduction just spilt forth from her lips, so appropriate and he was caught off guard for a moment. But the moment was so perfect, and so appropriate.

"I'm Gil Grissom."

And the two strangers stared at each other.

And curiously, the silence held a comfort that only came easily between two beings who had known each other for a very long time.

* * *

END 


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